Backyard Chickens, Only Better.

A while back, there was some debate in Annapolis that permitting backyard egg-layers would stigmatize the town. The thinking seemed to go along the lines that people who raised their own food were not only poor, but also dirty, and having chickens in a neighborhood would decrease property values. One Council member even said ”Do we want to go forward, or do we want to go backward? We’re becoming a farm city.”

I hope that the trial period for allowing backyard hens is successful in proving this theory wrong.

I’ve posted before about my fondness for fresh eggs, and my daydreams of having layers and a picturesque coop. You’ve seen my fantasy chicken cottages. A little over-the-top for a chicken’s needs, indeed, a little extravagant for the No-Acre Homestead, but very pleasing to look at.

Well, Neiman Marcus has gotten into the act now, and the bar for designing chicken coops has been raised dramatically.

Now THAT’S a nice hen house! (courtesy of Neiman Marcus)

Talk about picture-perfect!  And that’s just  the exterior. Wait til you see inside…

If my living room looked this elegant, I would be afraid to put my feet up. Wonder if the chickens are as impressed? (courtesy of Neiman Marcus)

Not sure what exactly you are admiring?  Here’s the scoop, straight from the Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog:

BEAU COOP

Dawn breaks. The hens descend from their bespoke Versailles-inspired Le Petit Trianon house to their playground below for a morning wing stretch. Slipping on your wellies, you start for the coop and are greeted by the pleasant clucking of your specially chosen flock and the site of the poshest hen house ever imagined. Your custom-made multilevel dwelling features a nesting area, a “living room” for nighttime roosting, a broody room, a library filled with chicken and gardening books for visitors of the human kind, and, of course, an elegant chandelier. The environment suits them well as you notice the fresh eggs awaiting morning collection. Nearby, you pick fresh vegetables or herbs from your custom-built raised gardens. You’ve always fancied yourself a farmer—now thanks to Heritage Hen Farm, you’re doing it in the fanciest way possible! The details: The buyer will receive an initial farm consultation and grounds survey and two additional onsite visits from Heritage Hen Farm expert, Svetlana Simon. Simon will select three to ten heritage-breed hens carefully selected to suit your region. Installation includes two custom-designed and installed raised vegetable or herb garden beds. Package includes a multilevel dwelling, nesting area, “living room,” broody room, library with books, two Heritage Hen Farm pasture grazing trays, waterer, feeder, and chandelier. All other props and furnishings not included. Please allow 6 weeks for delivery. Delivery not included.

Yes, the “La Petite Trianon” includes a living room, library, and chandelier for the pleasure of your chickens. It even includes custom-selected hens!  I’m not sure about the raised beds…from what I hear, the hungry girls will demolish those in an afternoon. But I suppose that is the gardener’s problem.

Lucky duck chicken! All this, and an indoor salad bar, too! (courtesy of Neiman Marcus)

The price for all this splendor? A cool $100,000.  One. Hundred. Thousand. Dollars. Although delivery is not included, (Seriously?  You’d think they could throw in a free truck ride for that price) Neiman Marcus is donating $3,000 from each sale to the  The American Livestock Breeds Conservancy.  So there’s that.

The Annapolis City Council should sit up after seeing this. Raising hens has become a sign of privilege, much like having a stable of polo ponies. At least with a chicken coop you can make an omelette to go with your champagne.

Don’t think you’ll get anything tasty out of the stable.